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5 Absurd Medical Autocorrects

5 Absurd Medical Autocorrects

  • From 10 terrible medical sentences, we present 5 absurd auto-incorrects, and 1 transcription error nightmare.
  • ©Luuk de Kok/
    The patient complained of “reptile dysfunction.” Of course I said “erectile dysfunction.” ©Luuk de Kok/
  • ©mikeledray/
    My first ever dictation returned with this under past medical history: “Polycythemia Vera treated with serial lobotomy.” ©mikeledray/
  • ©Glen Robinson/
    I was an early adopter of voice recognition. My statement that a patient was allergic to Keflex resulted in the unfortunate transcription that she was allergic to Catholics. Sometimes, I get “cat licks.” ©Glen Robinson/
  • ©Anastasiia Lieonova/
    In one of my early surgical dictations, which typically start with “the patient was brought to the operating room placed on the operating table in the supine position and prepped and draped in the usual fashion” . . . the transcriptionist slipped and I got “prepped and raped in the usual fashion.” I had nightmares of the trial lawyer grilling me on the stand . . . “so doctor please explain to us just what is your usual fashion of raping the patient?” ©Anastasiia Lieonova/
  • ©Kiselev Andrey Valerevich/
    “Bologna amputation” for “below knee amputation” ©Kiselev Andrey Valerevich/
  • Dictated evaluate with “Bronch and EBUS” . . . It typed . . . “Evaluate bra with nevus.”

We recently published “The 10 Worst Medical Sentences Ever Written” slideshow—10 unadultered and unedited sentences culled from articles submitted by physicians to this Web site over the years. That slideshow got a lot of attention, and a number of you appended comments to tell of memorable transcription and autocorrect errors.

Here we present 5 especially memorable autocorrect (autoincorrects?), and 1 transcription error that kept an MD up at night . . .

Thanks for the comments! We hope you enjoy . . .



Gregory @

About a patient who had just gotten a coronary artery stent: "Patient is to remain on clopidogrel for a year," came back as "Patient is to remain on cocaine for a year." Thanks, Dragon!

Elena @

Medical school study guide written as procedure to slow rapid pulse "valve Salazar remover"

Lynn @

A true history about one of the first attempts of automated translation with an specific software: The sentence: 'The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak', was send to the computer to be translated into Russian, and then a back-translation obtained, the end-result sentence was:
'The Vodka was good, but the stew was unedible'

Jose @

Remember the Reptile Dysfunction one WCC? Will

William @

Remember the Reptile Dysfunction one WCC? Will

William @

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