We scanned medical bloopers, wacky acronyms, one-liners, and more to create 9 slides we think will get at least a chuckle each.
Yes, Virginia, there is humor in the practice of medicine. Following here, a smattering of medical bloopers, one-liners, wacky acronyms, and folksy phrases culled from a multitude of sources for your amusement.
Second Opinions: Commentary on the State of Medicine. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.-Erma Bombeck I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.-Henny Youngman
Off the Charts: Absurd Autocorrects. Mistakes and miscues found on medical charts: Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983. The patient has no past history of suicides.
Did I Really Say That? More bloopers and blunders found on medical charts: By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling much better. Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year. He had a left-toe amputation one month ago. He also had a left-knee amputation last year. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. The patient refused an autopsy.
Physicians’ Folksy Phraseology. Some vernacular specific to the profession: Da Motrin: what to say when a patient asks for that pain medicine that starts with a D. Google MD: believing one is as smart as the doctor because they searched Google for all the answers. Attorney induced symptomatology: symptoms that present when a lawsuit is involved. Gorillacillin: a really powerful antibiotic. Captain Kangaroo: head of the pediatric department.
Art of Medicine Redefined. Fibrillate: to tell lies. Alimentary: what Holmes said to Watson. Hallucinoma: a mass seen on a scan or x-ray that wasn't really there. Node: past tense of knew. Seizure: an alcoholic Roman emperor.
What’s the Abbreviation for Doctor? Common MD acronyms you should know: ATS: Acute Thespian Syndrome (the patient is faking illness). ETK(T)M: Every Test Known To ManFF: Frequent Flyer, a patient who returns to a medical provider for everything SWAG: Scientific, wild-A** Guess. WNL: Used for recording vital signs, can mean “Within Normal Limits” or “We Never Looked”
A Case of Mistaken Identity. A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. “No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her husband!”
Delivering Bad News, and Worse News. Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.Patient: Might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. You have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 hours! That’s terrible! What’s the very bad news? Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.
Medicine for the Millennia: A Concise History. 2000 BC: Here, eat this root. 1000 AD: That root is heathen! Here, say this prayer. 1865 AD: That prayer is superstition! Here, drink this potion.1935 AD: That potion is snake oil! Here, swallow this pill. 1975 AD: That pill is ineffective! Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 AD: That antibiotic is poison! Here, eat this root.
Laughter is increasingly recognized for its short- and long-term health benefits for your patients-organ stimulation, stress relief, pain relief-but humor can be good medicine for doctors, too. So, with a few clicks through our slides: Physician, heal thyself!